


Knockin' On Heaven's Door

by therealaelora



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-10
Updated: 2012-09-10
Packaged: 2017-11-13 22:46:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/508539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therealaelora/pseuds/therealaelora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Destiel drabble; Cas is gone and in a drunken haze, Dean convinces himself that the only way to reach him is by singing some Guns N’ Roses.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Knockin' On Heaven's Door

**Author's Note:**

> Quick note; if you want to try matching the song to the story, I put up a marker for when to play it. I’m a fast reader, so if you really want, just try to match up the lyrics as best as you can. Personally, I think it makes it more emotional, but anywhore, enjoy!

Dean, for once in his life, was really, really, really drunk. Something in that bottle of sake he had bought had a kick he wasn’t used to, and man, did he miss the feeling.

Getting drunk had been his aim, after all. Ever since Cas had, well…sort of drowned, thanks to those fucking Leviathans, Dean had tried to forget about it, but with all the shit that was going down, he had made it clear to Sam that he needed a break, and grudgingly Sam had agreed that a day or two wouldn’t hurt their plan to take down the big Dick himself.

So, here Dean was, laying on the hood of the Impala, another bottle of that sake in his hand, looking up at the sky, wishing Cas was there with him. Cas was always fun to drink with, and was probably the only person he knew that could out-drink him. Man, if Dean had Cas’s tolerance, he’d probably never drink water again. He chuckled as he imagined taking a shower in whiskey; since he’d never need water again, why shower in it, right? Save the Earth and all that shit. Oh, wait, he already tried doing that on a daily basis.

Right as Dean was about to take another swig of sake, he froze as a song came on the radio, and the familiar slow guitar and lazy drums put a pinch in his chest. It would be a Guns N’ Roses song to send him over the edge, to take him from happily oblivious about his pain to achingly aware of the hole that was left in his heart. He would never admit it to anyone, but the more he thought about it, the more he really fucking missed Cas.

Suddenly, an idea struck him. [play]

He pushed off the Impala and stood technically upright, lifting his bottle high towards the sky. “Cas!” He called hoarsely to the empty heavens above him, squinting up at it intently. “Cas, I really miss you right now, and since this song is on, I thought that maybe-” Hiccup. “-maybe, if I knocked on Heaven’s door an’ all, you’d show up and stop being dead, so I’m gonna-” Hiccup. “-try it, okay? Okay, here goes nothing.”

With that, he hurled the bottle as high up as he could and began singing the song as loud as he could manage without throwing up.

“Mama, take this badge off of me!” he sang, his voice rough and vibrant. “I can’t use it any more!”

Memories of his last moments with Castiel flooded his mind, blinding him. The yelling, the way Castiel doubled over as he tried to hold back the Leviathans, his blue eyes as they penetrated Dean’s, nothing but sadness and regret in them.

“It’s gettin’ dark, too dark to see!”

He and Castiel meeting for the first time in that damned warehouse, the lights exploding around them as Castiel approached him ever closer, staring at him, as though he saw something worth loving in Dean.

“Feels like I’m knockin’ on Heaven’s door!”

Castiel holding up a fake FBI badge upside down.

Castiel dying for him.

Castiel questioning the logic of a porno.

Castiel saving him.

“Knock, knock, knockin’ on Heaven’s door!” Dean called, tears threatening to spring into his eyes. The sky stayed still, and Dean took another drink of sake. “I’m knock, knock, knockin’ on Heaven’s door!”

The guitar pierced him as he silently begged something, anything to happen.

“Knock, knock, knockin’ on Heaven’s door,” it was like a prayer now as Dean slid to his knees, hanging his head. “Knock, knock, knockin’ on Heaven’s door.” It was a whisper now, spoken around the lump in Dean’s throat. The song went on without him as tears fell down his cheeks, Axl Rose’s voice echoing into the night air as sobs shook his shoulders. He leaned over, touching his forehead to the ground, feeling like he was going to throw up and die and break down, all thanks to this fucking song sending him over the edge.

“Mama, put my guns in the ground,” he choked, tears falling into the dirt. “I c-can’t shoot them anymore.”

He couldn’t sing anymore. Not when he could barely see through his tears. It was hopeless. Cas was gone, and he was alone, all alone in this godforsaken field, alone and staring up at the sky like somebody gave two shits about him.

“That long black cloud is comin’ down, feels like I’m knockin’ on Heaven’s door.” Axl Rose sang for him, and Dean didn’t even have the energy to turn it off, so he just lay there, slumped over, crying like a little bitch. He couldn’t even pull himself together.

Through his tears and over the music, he could have sworn he heard the sound of wings flapping, and he drunkenly raised his head, hope prickling his heart. “Cas?” He called, but it was silent, save for the wailing guitar.

Dean couldn’t take it. He was hearing Cas everywhere, it was terrible. He slammed his head back down on the ground, biting his lips to hold back sobs again. This wasn’t fair. Why couldn’t his imagination leave him alone? In his drunken haze, he could swear he heard Cas’s voice singing along to the song.

Wait, there was someone singing along to the song, and just as Dean’s brain slowly realised this, he felt light fingertips brush his shoulder.

“Knock, knock, knockin’ on Heaven’s door,” the voice sang quietly, and Dean lifted his heavy head to look up at the voice. Through the alcohol and tears he tried to focus on the figure leaning over him, and he couldn’t believe his eyes.

“C-Cas?” He slurred, his voice thick.

“Hello, Dean. I heard your message.” Cas was bloody and covered in dirt and black slime. He was also the most beautiful thing Dean had ever seen.

Dean threw his arms around Cas’s neck, shaking with silenced sobs. Cas embraced him back, and the song played on.

“I swore to you that I would always come when you called, Dean.”

Dean still felt like he was going to throw up, but right now he didn’t care, because all he could think about was how ‘Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door’ was officially his favourite song ever.


End file.
